The Telegram Girl

So much of what we do at The Telegram Girl falls under the category of silly, goofy, spontaneous, zany non-stop laughter causing fun. Makes sense considering we barge in while wearing crazy costumes, singing at the top of our lungs. But on occasion our work can be quite a bit more serious, tender and focused; with songs delivered in the most gentle spirit. The awesome human hidden behind this big heart recently survived a complicated transplant and was cheered up by a Puccini aria in Italian, delivered at UPenn’s ICU. Left there with a heavy heart and greater awareness of just how fragile life is #upennhospital #phillysinger #singingtelegram #getwell #ilovemyjob #pucciniaria #thetelegramgirl 
#singingtelegramssayilovey

A client called the other day inquiring about a singing telegram and told me the sweetest story; “Our mom was a horrible cook - the lady could ruin PB&J! As a big treat she would make us Hamburger Helper for our birthdays. So gross! It became this ongoing joke in our family; as adults Mom would send us an empty box of Hamburger Helper with a birthday card and cash inside. And we would get her back the same way stuffing pretty scarves or homemade cookies, often in the same box she sent one of us months prior. Well this is our first year without her, 91 wonderful years, and I know this is crazy but could you find a Hamburger Helper costume and go sing the jingle plus happy birthday to my little sister?” What a request!! Of course I HAD to go on a costume hunt and low and behold was able to find this big goofy three fingered foam hand plus thumb with a hole for a face! Carrying out this singing telegram - as insanely silly as it was - felt so incredibly rewarding. Everyone had tears in their eyes and I knew their mom was laughing hysterically from above. I love my job so very much!

About half of the calls we get at The Telegram Girl Singing Telegrams come from clients who are very sure they want a specific character such a Viking Opera Singer, Elvis, Dancing Gorilla or Wonder Woman. The other half either ask us for suggestions or intentionally go with the most unexpected (and often bizarre!) idea possible. Mike hired us in Fairmount Philadelphia for his best buddy’s birthday and said, “my friend is going to expect a sexy dancing girl, definitely come as a Catholic Nun!” Frank, a repeat client and New Jersey barbershop owner, hired Marilyn Monroe but saw on our website that we also do a Mariachi so Marilyn had to wear a Sombrero and sing Cielito Lindo. Sometimes costumes are chosen to be as weird, hilarious and random as humanly possible, other times they have great meaning. One of our favorite performances was for a Wilmington based great-grandmother turning 95 who was labeled by her family as The Biggest Cinderella fan on this planet! Her entire home was decorated in authentic Disney dolls, figurines and posters…the birthday gram song chosen was “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” and it was beyond adorable to witness her over the top excitement when meeting *the real Cinderella.* Whichever costume you select, we promise your gift recipient will be thrilled to receive a once in a lifetime singing telegram surprise!

Most singing telegrams involve an already-existing song request, but some clients request customized lyrics that either tell a story/message or “roast” the gift recipient. About half the time they have us do the composing, but there are also times clients decide to take this on as their own creative project. 

When writing a song of your own...

Start with the base song; a familiar melody…its IMPERATIVE that this be a song you know well so that the rhythms and lyrics are easy to convert. Think simple and catchy...

Make a list about the message you wish to deliver / person you want us to honor or roast. Make sure the details are detailed!  

For example: He is a funny person or he loves to eat is not enough to really work with.  

However, here are some things that would be great inside of a song:

He has to back into garages and parking spots

eats so much dessert that he has to undo his belt 

wears the same old good luck shirt to every game, then his team always loses 

Here's one sample verse of lyrics created for a newly engaged New Jersey woman who wanted a Singing Telegram from The Telegram Girl to announce the good news:

To the melody of Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean:  

Jessie Smith was just my boyfriend  

Now he’s the guy that says that I am the one  

And our wedding plans have begun 

Of course her family was shocked and thrilled!

Customized singing telegrams are mostly funny / roasts but some are designed to be more sweet, for example something you would want said to a great-grandmother turning 90. In these cases, try and come up with as many bits and pieces of memories that you know which will of course result in smiles and happy tears.  

Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to work on this since writers block can happen, and should you need help from us on composition, give us an email call or text with information to get us started on your customized singing telegram masterpiece :-) 

The Telegram Girl performs live in Philly, South Eastern Pennsylvania, Wilmington, New Jersey, Staten Island, Brooklyn and virtually throughout the world!

Got called to do a Philadelphia bachelor party for a groom that very specifically asked his groomsmen to absolutely under no circumstances hire an exotic dancer. This guy was in law school, about to get married and take the bar exam. He didn’t want any riff riff in his life. His friends called us at The Telegram Girl and set up the singing telegram to look exactly like something it wasn’t…They placed him in a chair, opened the door, I marched in as lady cop, sexy music playing loudly…right away he was shouting “NO NO NO, absolutely not!” Then at that very moment Bennie the Dancing Gorilla in hot pink bikini came barreling in and began twerking all over the groom. I proceeded to sing a rather elaborate song in full operatic voice with lyrics written by the groomsmen. It was basically a hilarious roast about all the “illegal” activities the groom has been involved in; including trying to run an airbnb in his apartment, some overdue books and of course trouble with the worst - Phila Parking Authority = the enemy of our City! A super fun time was had by all and bravo to this great team of groomsmen for coming up with such an unforgettable surprise! #bachelorparty #singingtelegram #dancinggorilla #philadelphia #performerlife #bestgroomsmen #lifeofatelegramgirl